3 Ways to Make Bedtime Easier with Toddlers

Ah, toddlers. They can be the sweetest little angels and the most ruthless soul suckers all at once. Especially when it comes to sleep.

Listen, we’ve all been there.

Your kid is quiet as a mouse, dialed in on the latest Daniel Tiger episode, while you’re silently mustering the courage to make your bedtime announcement. The words have barely escaped your lips when suddenly your three-year-old is thrashing around on the floor, shrieking like a wounded animal, firmly disagreeing with your declaration.

And so, it begins…

The mood has been set. You’re in for a brutally long, uphill battle to get your little one in bed until one or both of you are in tears.

Lucky for you, there are three sure-fire ways to make bedtime more relaxed and efficient, even if your kiddo is as stubborn as a wild ox.

Create and communicate the bedtime routine

Let’s face it, as parents, we sometimes miss the mark on communicating expectations to our kids.

We’ve all done it.

We repeat what we want a hundred times in the hopes that it will lead them to want to do something. We explain and over-explain why something needs to get done, only to be met with a blank stare and the ever-infuriating question, “why?”.

Hate to break it to you, but the age-old response “because I said so” just isn’t cutting it these days.

Toddlers love to be in control, so engaging them in the process of creating bedtime rules can fill their cup right up. Creating a short, easy-to-understand routine to follow gives them a sense of power and ownership over the bedtime process.

Most toddlers can only follow three or four orders of operation without losing focus and incentive, so know your limits, and be specific about numbers.

For example – our bedtime routine consists of:

1. Go potty

2. Brush teeth

3. Put pajamas on

4. Read one story

Specifying how many stories we get to read helps eliminate bartering and begging for more in the moment, letting you off the hook and blaming the bedtime routine when necessary.

Making this routine visually appealing is an added bonus. Let your kid decorate it however they want and post it somewhere in their room that’s visible from their bed. The ability to quickly reference the routine (even if they can’t read it just yet) makes it that much more powerful.

Remember, the more your little one gets to contribute to creating this newfound “routine”, the more likely he is to stick to it.

Focus on the “what” vs. “how”

We all want our kids to want to do things exactly the way we would do them ourselves, right? It’s second nature for us to focus on how things get done, instead of what it is we’re actually asking our kids to do.

But I’ve never met a kid who doesn’t love to use an opportunity to do something their own way.

Here in lies the fact of the matter – we, as parents, can regain so much sanity from focusing on what needs to happen instead of how it gets done.

Example – your two-year-old wants to do the bedtime routine out of order. Ask yourself, “Does it really matter if she goes potty after she reads a story?” If the answer is no, then just go with it.

Toddlers are notorious for wanting things to be done their way. So, if it still leads to the same end goal, let them have those little victories whenever possible to avoid dying on every single mole hill you come across.

Trust me, your nervous system will thank you.

Be consistent

Being a sleep consultant and a mom of three myself, I’ve come across hundreds of kids with all different types of household environments, parenting styles, sibling situations, sleep arrangements, health issues…you name it.

And yet, I’ve never met a kid who truly thrives without routine or consistency.

Switching things up every night, week, or month – even with different situations between parents or caregivers – can throw kids off, completely. And while this might not suit your personal lifestyle, your parenting style should lean heavily on consistency if you want to create an easy, reliable bedtime routine.

All kids, but especially toddlers, do best when they know what to expect. So do yourself, and them, a favor and stop moving the goal posts when something doesn’t work perfectly the first time.

Remember, new habits are learned. They take time and practice. A lot of practice.

And it’s our job, as the parents, to be patient while our kids learn what’s expected of them.

So, once you’ve created your bedtime routine, stick with it for a while and allow you kiddo the time and space to adjust. If it’s not perfect, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean it’s ineffective or unsuccessful.

After two weeks of consistent practice, if something isn’t working, go ahead and adjust as needed. But again, once you’ve made a change, stick with it for a while to really understand what’s working and what’s not.

And just like that — three key ways to make bedtime easier with your toddler! Create a bedtime routine that your kid is invested in, focus on what needs to happen instead of how it happens, and be consistent with your approach every single night.

The truth is, bedtime battles will never cease to exist. But using these tactics can definitely make them less chaotic and earth-shattering than before.

Cheers to better sleep!